Comment 1

for Matt

I am hard of believing, I am belief-challenged, in this century of greater discoveries. There is no god in my mind to take him to a better place, especially the so-called better place where there is no suffering imposed on a select few.
No consolation, no parable will fit these circumstances because at 26, he lived fewer years than Jesus himself! No. This will not do. Unless I make Matt my own version of a savior.
OK Matt, are you ready for this? I am talking to you. You certainly win the competition every time I notice that something in my 61 year-old body isn’t working as well as it used to. Actually, you did point that out to me, not so long ago. And so I learned from you and I will think of you whenever I am about to complain, whenever a needle approaches my hypersensitive self. And instead of telling me what a sissy I was, or getting angry at me, you simply said, “you should try F.A.”
Silence. Pause.
“You should try F.A.,” did you say?
So you are my savior. Not that I would believe that you were sent. Through what would have been a complicated combination of crosspaths, you were finally able to tell me this, and then you died, and left it all up to me to continue when I’m thinking I got your message too late to save you. Because given time and money and a lot of effort we might find a cure. We have hope. You gave us hope.
Isn’t it somewhere a dimension of language that if we wear a t-shirt that says “cure F.A.” it becomes an imperative? And so, my savior, I will try my best.
I will try my best to look at adversity in the eyes, to help paddling wherever I can, and who knows, with your help, we will cure F.A.


1 Comment

  1. Beautifully and poignantly written, Guy. I have a couple of ” Matts” in my life too.
    They keep us on course and remind us to be grateful when we wallow needlessly in self- pity.
    Matt touched you in a profound way and your post , in turn, touched me.
    A beautiful life lesson to always pay it forward.

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